First Failure after 21 years old!

A lot of us consider ourselves adults after 21 years old, some consider themselves adults when they can take their own responsibility for the desicions they make while i consider myself an adult after 21 years old as i need to responsible every desicions that i make. Like a lot of the ordinary human being, i have plans for my later live. I also prepare myself mentally for anything that may get wrong during my journey such as failures, delay of the plans, surprises and so on.

However i never consider myself will encounter failure right just after 22 days after my 21 years old birthday. I failed in my final exam. What make it worse was i failed 2 subject outs of 5. I nearly break down. Telling you all the truth, i cried for almost an hour. And i think i would continue crying if i had not tuition class later. I felt awkful. I thought i would get a better result that last two semesters because i could answer most of the questions. I never consider failling the exam as one of the surprises in my plans.

What to do? I have to resit that 2 subjects. I have to pay RM800 and the highest grade i can get for than is C . My CGPA surely will drop. Fucking Surprises!!!!!!!!!!!!

3rd Semester Over.....

Final Exam is about to come to an end, holidays is about to start. I wonder how other feel about holiday, but i feel kind of relieve. I am exhauted. I really need a rest. Since last month of last year, i start my first long term, 3 quater time works( more than part time but less than full time). Although i enjoy teaching, but it is very tiring when i have to worry about my school works as well as my students' results. Pressure, the only thing i feel. Worrying that my students may leave the center because of me. Every time a student leaved, i would ask myself the question,'Is it my fault?' So far, my respond is 'No, they leaved because they wanted to leave.' However, you never know when my confidence break down and blaming myself for everything that has gone wrong.

Once Rubbish, Alway Rubbish!!!

In order to become gentlemen, we study the ways a gentleman behave, the ways he talks, and so on. However, what is the definition of a gentleman?? Then we start to imagine a man that always smile, a man that opens doors for lady, a man that talk politely... all of these is what we can see form the outside. But what if the man that smile is actually thinking :" haha, some1 is getting into my trap!". What if the man that open the doors is actually thinking :" Welcome to the hell!" and the man talk politely is only want to have sex. Then you will say how rude.. Now here is the real case.. students passed up their moral study assignment( For all of you that do not know, It is 1 of the LAN subjects for private University, every student have to pass the 3 LAN subject in order to get the certificate. In the Moral Study, students have to visit to home and passed the report)... Below is one of the students' personal feeling..


Hugging, something which that is nothing extraordinary to us. We hug when we meet an old friend. We hug when we say good bye to other. We also hug when meeting new friends in certain culture. Due to the reason we can get hugging whenever we want since we were small, hugging has became something like ‘Hello’ and ‘Good bye’ in our lives. Therefore we never expect hugging as a need in our lives after we grow up. However, to them, hugging are something they need and something that are lack in their lives. They thirst for hug. They cried for hug from their parents when they were babies. They shouted for hug when they saw parents hugging their children. Even when they grow up, deep inside their heart, their hunger toward hugging never stop. That is what I feel after the visit to the home. They may not have the money to buy beautiful clothes but they do not need to worry about clothes as someone will donate to them. They may not have the money to buy food but they have their three meals a day. However hugging is something that they thirst for. That is what I felt during my visit. During my visit, one of the boys asked me for hugging. I felt like nothing as we used to hug our friends. However the moment I hug him, two other boy came over and asking me for the same thing, before I answered them, they already took their action- pushing each other in order to be hug. The incidents happened until the moment we leaved. In my heart, I knew they were not mischievous, they only want to have our attention, and they want to be loved just like all of us.


Nice isn't it...however here is the real personal thinking....
Walau, the situation here is not as bad as you all think leh. They eat 3 meal per day without worrying leh. They even have free tuition classes. But some of the kids, i really felt like holding an AK-47 and shotting them to death. I thought they only wanted a hug, but 3 of them climbing all around, making me having difficulty in breathing. Biadah!!!!!!!!!!!!

So do the Moral study or the Moral values work out???Once Rubbish, Always Rubbish!!

Child or No Child??

This semester, i study developmental psychology, it is mainly talking about everything before the child born till the moment he die. One day during the lecture, our lecturer ask among us who want to have child later in our life. Among 13 of us, 4 said they never want a child, and their reasons are child are troublesome, children that behave like a monkey will kill them, and lastly the moment the child grow into adolescence is the fear factor. One of them even said her mother told her not to have child if she want to be free..

WTF!!!

What had the generation gone wrong???? A child now become a burden??? How could they be so selfish?? I mean if you have others reason such as you are having illnesses and you don't want a child because you afraid he will become like you...i can accept this reason but do not want to have children because they are troublesome and you will have no freedom...i will say go to hell.. Compare to the grandmother generations, they are having 8 to 10 kids and they have nothing at all..and now people only having 1 or 2 kids and having all the modern things around you.. who is more suffer!!!!and for the reason afraid they will become samseng.... Eat up your own shit!!!! If your children become samseng, it's your fault!!! If you are having this concern, may be you should look into the mirror and you will see a huge shit in it...